Sometimes there’s really nothing to say. When having to deal with the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. The silent treatment is a common pattern of conflict for committed, romantic couples, and it can be damaging if left unaddressed. Or how to handle the silent treatment with dignity? Want to know how to handle the silent treatment with dignity? Purposely ignoring someone, refusing to listen to them, and icing them out is often referred to as giving them the ‘silent treatment’. In this video, I go into why narcissists use the silent treatment and how to respond to it. Make it a point to keep your demeanour calm and gentle, and make the other person feel comfortable with pursuing the conversation. Want to know how to respond to the silent treatment? Especially if it’s a question of how to respond to the silent treatment from a narcissist. It makes you feel invisible, unworthy, and maybe a little bit sad or angry. This not only works for romantic relationships but also when you’re trying to figure out how to respond to the silent treatment from a friend or family member. It's something I expect from my children, not my SO. It is important to break this communication pattern, and there are constructive ways to respond and, hopefully, find a way to move forward that both of you can agree on. They just don’t understand why their partner is behaving this way. It takes skill and training to remove the venom and make the relationship amorous yet again.”. From experience, I know how challenging it is to deal with narcissists and their manipulative behaviour. These simple actions will help you deal with silent treatment in any kind of relationship. Not you, not your partner, and makes your relationship more toxic. When silent treatment is used as a tool of manipulation, you know trouble is brewing in the relationship. 1. We all need time and space, some of us need more time to cool off after an argument, but that does not entitle them to give the other person silent treatment. Except in the case of silent treatment manipulation. By giving in to it, you allow your partner to use it against you time and time again. How do you respond to the silent treatment. It’s indirect, passive, and extremely emotionally hurtful. Left unchecked, it can cause irreparable harm to the relationship as well as the person who’s forced to deal with it. If you’re taking the above-mentioned approach, make sure you give space and time to the other person until they’re ready to make the first move. 6. Sometimes, going silent may … The silent treatment in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse. What To Say To Someone Who Has Betrayed You? Understand What the Silent Treatment IsTo one partner, the silent treatment is their way of dealing with an argument, but to the other, it’s a sign of shutting down. Developed and Maintained by Creative Brains. Yes, we’ve all heard the proverb ‘diamond cuts diamond’. Check out our ideas below for how to respond to the silent treatment in your life. Believe me, they will do this if you let them. Why do I have to use my words when people should just know when they’ve done something to hurt me? However, this time-out to cool down should not be confused with the tendency to freeze the other person out by giving them a cold shoulder. Want to know how to respond to the silent treatment? Realize the chronic use of the silent treatment is Emotional Abuse. Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting And 5 Ways To Deal With It. The silent treatment is one of the most common warning signs of relationship problems because it’s so easy for couples to fall into the habit of doing. 2. Not only should you give this person the silent treatment in real life, but ignore any texts, phone calls, or messages over social media as well. Responding To A Narcissist’s Silent Treatment Turn the Game Around and Play it Better Have you ever found yourself being ignored by someone and you have no idea why? Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly. It’s a question that often leads to dead ends. And then there are habitual abusers who resort to silent treatment manipulation out of spite. They could keep apologising and asking what’s wrong, but the partner would stay mumb and not reply. Silent treatment in relationships often shakes the very foundation of the bond you share and yet, it is imperative to work on it for making your relationship stronger and healthy. Sometimes a partner gives silent treatment because they do not know how to process their own feelings in that case opting for relationship counselling is a good idea. You might want to use it positively to disengage from an argument but if you continue being silent for days then you could be using it as a tool of abuse. It is important to break this communication pattern, and there are constructive ways to respond and, hopefully, find a way to move forward that both of you can agree on. One of the best ways to respond to the silent treatment is to respectfully offer safe and healthy communication for when the person is ready to set their fears aside and discuss things politely. This often occurs after an intense fight or argument between the couple. The silent treatment is one of the most common warning signs of relationship problems because it’s so easy for couples to fall into the habit of doing. Avoid letting the silent treatment get the better of you. When someone gives you the silent treatment you keep grappling with the feeling what went wrong. Yes, we’ve all heard the proverb ‘diamond cuts diamond’. How To Respond To The Silent Treatment? Face it head on. So, shake off the blame and focus on healing yourself. The Best Way to Respond to the Silent Treatment When your partner gives you the silent treatment, what it means and what to do. But if giving the silent treatment has become a habit for your partner, then you should refuse to become the victim. “Here the clear focus is on certain maladaptive or dysfunctional behaviour in a partner. 8 Ways To Get Out Of An Unhealthy Relationship, 11 Relationship Arguments That Spell Doom For Your Bond, Ignoring Someone You Are Attracted To? How to respond to the silent treatment in a strong and healthy way. Don’t excuse their behaviour. There is always an underlying cause for people to resort to this kind of behaviour. “Professional help is always recommended in toxic relationships like these. How to Respond to the Silent Treatment? They also want you to chase after them and beg them to take you back. Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. Key things to do when responding to the silent treatment and why: 01 Give the angry party some space. If this is just the first time that your partner is giving you a silent treatment, be calm and kind instead of reacting negatively. But a long bout of the silent treatment can hurt a marriage and causes loneliness. The silence at the dinner table, in the bedroom, at breakfast becomes harrowing after some time. Defining the Silent Treatment – How to Respond to the Silent Treatment. Research also corroborates this postulation. When your significant other refuses to speak to you or even acknowledge you, it’s not only infuriating but might also affect your bond. Face it head on. Silent treatment in marriage is not fair, but even married adults sometimes act like children. How to confront someone who’s giving you silent treatment? Related Reading: How To Deal With A Lying Husband? The previous example with the narcissist illustrates that whoever is giving you the silent treatment wants to cause you emotional pain. Remember, this is a tactic designed to manipulate. Giving someone the silent treatment can be tough when it's someone you're typically close to, but you can successfully shut them out by being firm and adjusting your schedule. How to Respond If the Silent Treatment Is Used to Punish or Control. The crux of this approach is to use positive reinforcement through ‘I’ statements instead of blame-shifting through ‘You’ remarks. The problems often run deeper than what we see on the surface.”, Related Reading: 10 Signs You Married The Wrong Person. It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. Why do I have to use my words when people should just know when they’ve done something to hurt me? “Once you know why this is happening, the question of how to respond to silent treatment gets automatically simplified. Not only should you give this person the silent treatment in real life, but ignore any texts, phone calls, or messages over social media as well. But if giving the silent treatment has become a habit for your partner, then you should refuse to become the victim. Speaking on the effects of silent treatment on the one at the receiving end, she says, “Silent treatment is the perfect weapon that an abuser can use to punish you. Related Reading: 12 Smart And Easy Ways To Deal With A Nagging Wife. A third person perspective will straighten things out. If you have reached out to your partner and they are giving you the cold shoulders, once you’ve recognized that they are giving you the silent treatment, you should not respond to it. I’m guessing that every spouse has given or gotten it at least once. This works as a strategy and a positive one at that. Do Not Try to Argue With Them. If your partner continues to give you the silent treatment time after time, help him work on redirecting the habit that has developed in his life. Despite its damaging effect, silent treatment manipulation is rampant in relationships. Although someone giving you the silent treatment is not your fault, remember that if you have hurt them, or done something wrong, an apology from you would benefit your relationship a great deal. Usually, the silent treatment has been ingrained in an individual's personality as a way to cope with difficult emotions, according to the staff at eHarmony. And one that can be blurred easily. If the silent treatment is taken too far, it’s becomes emotional abuse. How To Disarm Silent Treatment in Love. The Wife Who Had To Be The Centre Of Attention. How does a narcissist expect you to react? That being said, silent treatment should not be confused or interchanged with any attempts made by an individual who is taking some time to cool off after an argument/fight.”. Yes, we’ve all heard the proverb ‘diamond cuts diamond’. Whatever you do, do not show them that their silent treatment is effecting you. Instead of focusing on how you’ve been wronged, look inwards and explore your shortcomings and faults. Professional help in the form of couple therapy – or even individual counselling – can be extremely beneficial in recognising and sorting out some fundamental issues in the relationship. We’ve all been taught to not engage in discourse when tempers are soaring. You wait for them to text or call you, and when they call or text you, you address the issue with them. You can use the ideas described in this article to help you get started on how to respond to the silent treatment. 12 Smart And Easy Ways To Deal With A Nagging Wife, Love Me Best! I’m guessing that every spouse has given or gotten it at least once. So, instead of ‘You always do this!’ try ‘I want to understand how we can make this better’. According to Lisa Aronson Fontes Ph.D., many survivors of abuse admit that being ignored and iced out for long periods of time is worse than being yelled at. Seek the help you need, work toward healing yourself. Do not beg for their attention. (Side note: Another positive way to improve your life is to read and learn something new every day. The person could well be doing so with a sense of silent abuse. Instead, try to validate their feelings as best as you can. But the reality is, as much as I wish it were true, human beings are not mind readers. Maria Parker May 8, 2020. The trauma of silent treatment manipulation should not cast a shadow on your future relationships. This helps no one. Using words (or lack thereof) as a weapon against others is unfair. Having to endure the silent treatment isn’t fun for anyone. Here are a few tips on how to deal with it. It’s a technique to offer constructive criticism without aggravating the other person or making them more emotionally distant than they already are. Posted Feb 17, 2018 Designed to rob you of control and self-esteem, you apologize for something you never did. Then, apologise for them. Take care of yourself. There is no need to waste emotional energy fretting over their moods. If it’s part of abusive controlling behaviour, you need to let the other person break the ice. However, overcoming the hurt caused by someone you love and care for isn’t easy. If a person is dumped after silent treatment it’s even worse because they never get closure. When having to deal with the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire in a relationship burning. All you need is the right approach and mindset. The best response to the Narcissist Silent Treatment game is to move forward with your common sense leading the way. Whether it was something small or large, whether it was one sided or you both played a role, the fact of … For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. How To Respond When The Narcissist Gives You The Silent Treatment It took me several years before I learned the true nature of the “silent treatment” and what it’s meant to do to you. However, this approach only works best when an emotional hurdle is triggering the behaviour. In all honesty, you would probably rather be yelling at each other for hours instead of being left alone without a single response to all of your efforts. (Don’t confuse the silent treatment with no contact which is a process undertaken to protect ourselves, to give us time to heal and recover, not to punish or hurt anyone). How to Respond to the Silent Treatment. As such, any relationship where silent treatment manipulation is the norm suffers from poor communication, diminished intimacy, and deep-seated resentment. In the absence of proper communication, our relationships will turn cold.However, at times, to avoid conflict, many couples resort to the silent treatment. Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse whereby an individual deliberately ignores the other with the intention of making him/her feel bad or as a … You wait for them to text or call you, and when they call or text you, you address the issue with them. When you withdraw communication with this intent, you’re using silent treatment as a tool to induce a positive behaviour change. Not talking to you or addressing the issues are their way of keeping you at tenterhooks. Directly respond to the silent treatment with calmness, and talk to the person kindly. It is one of those underrated paradigms that can work its magic in reinstating love and faith even in crumbling relationships. This helps create an atmosphere of trust and comfort, where the other person can open up and talk about their feelings honestly. Stonewalling: A Perfect Narcissist's Silent Treatment Method. *Expand* SUBSCRIBE for weekly videos: https://bit.ly/2PRGHvI FOLLOW ME on Instagram: https://bit.ly/2zgbx70 SHOP AMAZON AND SUPPORT NancyTV! Knowing how to respond to silent treatment becomes imperative not just for the survival of the relationship where this form of stonewalling is repeatedly used as a disarming tool but also for the mental health and well-being of the person at receiving end. He is giving you the silent treatment because either he is bored and therefore wants to create drama, or you have caused him a perceived slight (eg. The receiving end of the silent treatment isn’t easy either. Nothing but negative feelings arise from using the silent treatment. Try to approach them another time. The more you facilitate your partner, the more your relationship will grow up. Do not let it make you reconsider your actions or your words. Let’s understand what silent treatment manipulation means, how to spot it in a relationship, and ultimately, how to handle the silent treatment with dignity. However, if they do approach to make amends, do not shut them out with a cold shoulder of your own. It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. How to respond to the silent treatment. Life. The Silent Treatment. How to confront someone who is giving you the silent treatment? While many people purposely go silent after – or even during – an argument, they may do so in order to prevent saying something which they will regret. In the absence of proper communication, our relationships will turn cold.However, at times, to avoid conflict, many couples resort to the silent treatment. Nothing but negative feelings arise from using the silent treatment. The Silent Treatment. If you think that your partner deserves a chance because they are otherwise loving, caring and concerned but this is the only issue in their character, then you can look for ways to handle it. But it will only set a toxic a ‘who blinks first’ game in motion. It’s that simple. If the silent treatment is taken too far, it’s becomes emotional abuse. A narcissist wants the target of their abuse, and be in no doubt their silence is abuse, to reach out, plead and beg for their very existence to be recognised. The silent treatment psychology can come from a toxic childhood, narcissism or a person’s inability to process their emotions. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a question of how to respond to the silent treatment from a friend, family or your spouse. There is truly nothing more devastating than getting the silent treatment from someone you love. 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